When Does Sex Count?
This week an intagrammer by the handle at @sammroi had a confession thngy going on in his story. Damn!! People have no chills. Everyone is hoeing left, right and centre. Girls are now untamed. A good dick drives any innocent looking chiq nuts. Next weeks article is on how each and every girl should have a hoeing phase. It really helps.
We have all had sex with numerous people and some keep count. I don’t know about y’all but i keep a very accurate count on who i have fucked. If you don’t count to do it right now for the sake of the article. Put your phone down and try to count how many chiqs you’ve fucked. If you a lady count how many guys have fucked. After doing that we can proceed.
Ladies have a funny way of counting how many guys have dicked them. There are those sex experiences that you will not count due to several reasons. On today’s blog I’m showing y’all which sex encounter counts and which doesn’t. #Beentertained.
You can’t trust a woman when she tells you how many people she’s had sex with. Let’s review.
The Female Numerical System:
-ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, NOTHING COUNTS…. This can be extended to the entire month/week depending on how she celebrates.
-If he didn’t finish, it didn’t count.
-If she was too drunk, it didn’t count.
-If he came too quick, it didn’t count.
-If she doesn’t remember, didn’t count.
-If she was in a new town visiting friends, it didn’t count.
-If she was mad at another guy, whether it’s her man or her fuckmate, didn’t count.
-If she didn’t tell her friends, didn’t count.
-If she COULDN’T tell her friends, for reasons such as, he’s ugly, he’s disgusting, or just generally an old man, that’s right, didn’t count.
-If it was wack, didn’t count.
-If she was, “going through a stage,” i.e., Amber Rosing, didn’t count.
-If she was in a three or moresome, that counts as one.
-If he was younger than her, unless, it was some Pretty looking Chris Brown, didn’t count.
-If he dies, there’s no proof of sex, so he is removed too
You’re welcome to believe that bullshit but…
Many men sit around trying to come to an answer about, “When can you officially say you had sex with a girl?” I’m sure many women do the same thing.
Sandra said, “You f*cked him, didn’t you!”
And Vicky said, “No I didn’t, he tried to slip it in, but I told him no I didn’t want to have sex.” You really can’t go on what a woman defines as sex, well at least for a man. See sex is like golf for women and it’s like football for men. The point of the game for women is to keep your score as low as possible.
NB never tell a man your real body count. This applies to those who have fucked more than 10dudes. If you’ve fucked 20 guys tell the guy you’ve fucked 6-8. If you say the exact number i promise you he will see you as just a cheap hoe.
Now for the men, the point of the game is to score as many points as possible, definitely more than anyone else. For that reason you have dudes who’ll tap anything for a win. I’ve never been that type. Victory wasn’t so sweet if I didn’t beat the tough competition. I got a friend who will sleep with anything that walks just so he can brag he has the highest body count.
Nevertheless, I can’t tell you how people count what they count, but the only thing that I will say is that you must be consistent. You can count how you want to count, but you just have to count everything the same way. You can pick any of the following methods for counting:
The Memory Method
Keep it 💯💯 with yourself , if you don’t remember it, it didn’t count. Now let’s be clear, one time, I knew a guy who was telling me the women he slept with and I said, “What about [such and such]?” His face turned red and he said, “Damn I forgot all about her ass” He added her in and he kept going. That counts.
What I mean by you don’t remember is that you literally do not remember.
If you woke up somewhere not in your bed and you were asshole naked and you have to ask yourself, “Did I just get f*cked?” You don’t have to count that shit babygirl. This right here is the reason why most girls don’t count anything that happened in their 4 years of college. They was drunk as a skunk every FRIDAY – SUNDAY night, they don’t remember nothing. If you got chipod at a club and ended up getting fucked that doesn’t count.
(Sidenote, you can always tell how many women a man has slept with by how he reacts to the question, “How many bodies you got?” One dude will go to his mind and start counting he will look up and to the sides. Another dude will break out his fingers and start counting. Another dude may take a sheet of paper and write it down.
The Rhythm Method
All the rhythm method means is that if it wasn’t good, then you are allowed not to count it. This goes both ways. If you a dude who put in hard work to chase a hoe and it’s wack, you don’t have to take credit for that. You know some hoes ruin your credit, but there’s also the assumption that just because a chick is a hoe she knows how to go pro in the bedroom. Nope, being a hoe means you’re easy, ain’t got nothing to do with skills in the bed. Anyway, if it’s wack, don’t count it.
Imagine cheating on your bae with some wack ass pussy or dick. You end up feeling wasted. Don’t count any wack sex. Only count the best sex.
If you looking at this like a woman, you can just about write off all the sex you’ve ever had in your life using this method. Woman love to say the sex wasn’t good. If you get a woman admitting that the sex was good just believe it.
They will hoot and holler like they’re in child labor and then when their friends ask them how was it, they’ll say, “I mean, it was okay …” Anyway, if you didn’t like the sex, then don’t count it. It’s one IMPORTANT exception to this rule.
There are men out there who do not know how to make a woman feel good when they having sex, but they like to just pound away for about an hour or so. If you was with a dude and he got a d*ck on steroids and just spent about 50 minutes pounding on you, you have to count that. The coochie was damaged, that’s going need to be on your fucking report.
Once Upon a Time…
Anytime you can start a story with, “there was this one time when” , you can always take all that off your record. If the story starts with, “one time, I had just broke up with [such and such],” you can take that off the record. That’s situational d*ck/pussy right there. You fucked the person because of the situation you were in.
Three shots method.
I got a friend who we always go back and forth on if he ever had sex with a girl or not. I say he did, he says he didn’t. I think he saying it out of respect for the young lady in question because he don’t want people to think less of her, that’s commendable and what not.
But his rule is, in order for it to count, you must get three good shots in. I guess that’s a way of looking at it.
He said three shots is like a taste test. If she doesn’t know after three shots if this is something she wants to do, then it doesn’t count.
But you know maybe this works out for a woman. You can consider it like a test drive. “Let me see how this guy hits it and then make a decision.” Afterwards, if you don’t like it, you can say, “Nah, I’m good” and it doesn’t go on your sex report. (Look at all the women looking around thinking of how many times they let it get started before they was like, “Nah I don’t want to do this…”
After fucking the three rounds you are damn sure she wanted it with you. If a chiq stops sex while in shot number one, just know she wants to fuck but not with YOU!!!
JUST THE TIP (kuingiza kichwa)
THIS IS MY METHOD RIGHT HERE! I fully stand by this rule. For all those girls who let dude, “just put the tip in” … that counts! If you were dry humping around the bed bald head naked and it slid inside her pussy… that counts! If you weren’t sure if that was his finger or his dick … that counts!
Basically everything that crosses the outer pussy lips counts. I don’t care if he just stuck his dick head in the pussy entrance , that sh*t counts. This is the best way of counting things and the best way to keep everyone honest.
On a more serious note, here’s the thing, let me keep it real with y’all. The reason why I believe in the Just the tip method is because that’s basically the point at which you can get a girl pregnant or catch something from her. Really all it take is contact nowadays.
But to end on a lighter note, the point of all this is … drink up, it’s Thursday, the week is almost up. Tomorrow there is turn up friday. The more you drink, the better you’ll feel, and although you’ll wake up with a hangover, the sex you had last night DOESN’T COUNT✌✌
keep it ClassY
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I wanna leave you all with a little assignment.
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dear readers of my blog, after reading this 👆👆can you tell me, which sex counts?you can leave your answers in the comment section down below👇👇