What Men Want: Feed Me, Fuck Me, Leave Me Alone

Men are simple creatures. Our wants are simple, we go after them directly, and once we get them … we are happy.

And while there are a million and one things that influence our decisions of who we marry, who is a side chick vs. the wifey, and are we going to cheat?… at our core we really are simple creatures.

“Feed me, fuck me, and then shut the fuck up” – Chris Rock

Let Me explore three things that put a smile on every man’s face.


Every person alive knows the importance of a good meal and we all know that a home cook meal touches you in a place deep in your soul that just … it just makes you feel good.

When a guy is in a relationship or is dating a girl and putting her through the “would she make a good girlfriend” process … something that always wins big … always makes him feel good about this woman … always earns her point … eating a good home cooked meal from their woman.

If a woman cooks for you, she really really likes you

Not only do we finally get that she’s not a selfish b* but we all get that “she really does care about me” feeling … but we also know that she will be able to provide for us and our stomachs.


Men need sex (by sex … I mean any type of release of bodily fluids aided by a woman). If we don’t have it, it builds up inside or our bodies, starts to ooze out of our ears, and diminishes brain function (don’t question it … its true!).

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The amount of release (hourly, daily, weekly) and the type of release depends on the man (deep strokes, good brain, rub & tug) … but something is needed by us all.

As soon as women start to understand this … divorce rate will finally drop and life for everybody will get better and after that home cooked fried chicken we just had … we gotta burn off them calories. Running ain’t gonna cut it.


Silence. Whether it is us and our PlayStations or we are watching the game, or just silence from your voice as they chill with the boys … we need silence.

Although this is the easiest thing to provide, its something that seems to be the hardest to find as a man. All men crave silence

Three things to make a man happy. Girls just wanna have fun … we just Want food, p*ssy, and some quiet.

Is there any man that doesn’t want these things? Is there some anomaly out there who wants to be hungry with blue balls, with noise in his ear?

Women, have you ever met a man unsatisfied with these three things?

All men want to Fed, Satisfied, and Relaxed.

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