This Is How I Loved And Moved On From A Fuckboy
I fell for this guy once thinking that he wasn’t like the rest of the assholes in the world. I can’t specifically recall how many girls he dated before me or how many flings he had before meeting me. Maybe 10? Or 20? Or who cares? But even though my friends told me he’s no good, I didn’t listen to them. During the first month of us dating, he was very gentlemanly and sweet. But everything suddenly changed. Behind this sweet, cute creature was a fuckboy. And before I knew it, it was already too late because I’ve fallen in love with him.
I thought I could change him to become the good guy—the guy I thought he was. I thought loving him would be enough for him to stay. But no. Because fuckboys come, and they will surely go.
I should’ve listened to my friends, I should’ve considered his past dating habits, I shouldn’t have fallen in love with a fuckboy. We never had a label and I’m not okay with that, but he was my exception. He made me happy, and I thought it was enough. I believed him when he said he wasn’t ready to commit yet, not knowing that he really had no plan of committing. He said he wanted me and I thought maybe that’s enough. That love would be enough. Because I loved him, but I was stupid to think he loved me too.
When he left, it took me a time to accept who he really was—a fuckboy.
Guys like him are pure cowards. They act like cool guys who don’t want to commit because they want to collect girls, but the truth is, they are a bunch of cowards who are just afraid to be alone. They’re a bunch of jerks who don’t want to take responsibility. They never wanted to commit because they’re afraid of being the one to be blamed over a failed relationship. Their “no label” thing is a lame excuse because they think nothing actually started, so nothing technically ended.
Falling in love with a fuckboy sucks, and moving on from him sucks more.
At first, I had to blame myself for letting everything happen. I see him walking along the street with his new girl and I just felt really stupid for not immediately knowing he’s that kind of guy. But unlike him, I’m not a coward. As time passed by, I realized I had no time to cry over him because he was not worth it. I had no time to think about the what-ifs.
And I may not be able to forgive him completely, I am capable of forgetting him.
But since he’s a fuckboy, he will send an “i miss you” message one night and boy will I laugh so hard. Because I will never fall for his tricks again.
He made me realize that I’m worth the chase. That I deserve a label. And the good guys know that.