“I wouldn’t be the man I am today without these rules. You too would be weaker without them.”-Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Each stage of our life we come across guys who end up being part of our lives ; we assimilate them into being our bros.
In my 19 years of existence i have come across rules,guidelines,shit you better do in order to survive in these jungle.To guys these bro codes matter and new codes keep being made to suite each one of us.
HERE ARE MY ESSENTIAL BRO CODES
1.Bros before hoes
keep in mind girls come and go but guys will always be there.Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.
2.If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you’re buddy’s sister.
If she is your buddy’s cousin…then there are no limits.You can even go and brag about it to his face.
3.Thou shall always talk s**t to each other, but never actually mean it.
We may diss each other day in day out but nothing should be taken seriously. Its all in good old fun.
4.NEVER use the urinal directly next to another man unless absolutely necessary, and for the love of all that is holy, do not speak to him.
5.If you have 2 tickets to an event,this is the criteria used in giving out the other ticket:
1. Your best friends (in order of how long you’ve known them).
2. Your roomie if you have one.
3. Your deskie.
4. The weed guy.
5. The events guy.
….1,485,726. Your girlfriend.
6.Be polite around your bro’s girlfriend, but when he asks what you think, always lay the cold hard truth on him.
Don’t sugar coat it.Say how it is
7.There are specific rules to the “head nod” when greeting another male. If you know them, you NOD UP. If you don’t know them, you NOD DOWN. Fact.
8.Bro will always tell a bro what he did when he was blacked out. No matter how bad.
And if you have evidence in visual form show it to him.Let him see his stupidity
9.A bro should always treat for food when a bro is broke. Signs that a bro is broke are phrases like, “I’d rather eat at home”, “I’m not hungry”, “I just ate”,
If your bro is low on cash its ur duty to stand up for him
10.A bro shall never make another bro ashamed for hooking up with a girl. Even if she was truly nasty, a bro will make excuses for his bro. Example, “you were drunk so…”
11.A bro will never give detail when describing a sexual encounter. Doing so will force your bro to imagine you naked and this is unforgivable.
12.A bro must always maintain a safe physical distance from a bro’s girl, especially when drinking. Physical contact may only be made with a bro’s girl, when saying good bye. No exceptions.
13.If you’re in a conversation where girls are talking about one of your friends, and you know he likes one of them, you should always drop “good bombs” – basically mention good things about him in a non-bromance way.
14.If you are involved in a threesome with a bro.Don’t maintain eye contact.
15.You must never own a cat
16.The fist bump is a bro’s greatest weapon.It should be used to show support, acceptance, pride, and it is an all around green light for an action that was committed. Use the fist bump often, and show constant appreciation for your bro’s jokes and skills with it.
17.When discussing the purchase of party drinks, if a bro declines to offer money. The other bros should cover for him. No bro should be denied thirst quenching goodness just because it’s a tight week or month.
18.When your bro’s girlfriend inquires about his whereabouts you know nothing, always.
19.Never openly question another guy’s sports wisdom, unless the said information specifically involves your favorite team.
It doesn’t matter how ludicrous the other guy sounds let him be.
20.You will always make excuses for a bros actions, no matter how crazy they sound. All things done by a drunk bro must be forgiven. No exceptions.
21.Bro-mance is allowed but only among your tightest bros. Never take your bro-mance too far. And if anyone should remark negatively upon your bro-mance. An immediate beat down should ensue. Should a girl comment negatively upon the bro-mance, kindly explain to her that she will never know love from a man such as you and your bros share. And let her know what a privilege it is to be a mere witness to your glory.
22.If a guy is engaged in a conversation with a woman, don’t interrupt. Find your own girl.
23.Player 1 shall always fall to whomever owns the the playsation or Xbox
24.If they helped you move, you are compelled by law to reciprocate.
25.No cockblocking your bro.
26.If a bro wants to entertain a lady you should give him space to do his thing.
27.Under no circumstances should a bro ever be hit in the genitals for any reason. EVER!
28.you back your bro up on all his bullshit.
If he’s bullshitting to impress a woman you back up his ludicrous claims to the hilt.
29.A bro never crosses one leg over the other. He may rest one foot over the other, but never a full leg cross.
30.A bro doesn’t get lost, he merely finds an alternate route.
31.A bro never makes eye-contact with another bro while eating a banana.
32.When a Bro leaves his seat, the seat becomes vacant and cannot be reclaimed if a fellow Bro takes it. Lift your feet, lose your seat.
33.A bro never shows or tells a crazy chick where his fellow bro lives or stays, only that bro can subject himself to that grief.
34.Single Bro’s always try and sit with one seat between them in case any ladies come along that don’t have anywhere to sit.
35.A bro never catches a cold. Only women catch colds, bro’s are struck down with Man Flu.
36.A Bro doesn’t allow another Bro to get married until he’s at least thirty.
37.A bro never dances with his hands above his head
38.A bro is allowed to do something stupid as long as others are doing it.
39.A bro should never ever under any circumstances sleep with a bro’s ex-girlfriend. A bro may proceed to make moves on another bro’s failed target (he got rejected) but only after asking permission first. If the bro declines your invitation to bust some moves, you must adhere to his wishes and find a new target.
40.Never refer to a bro by his last name, this is a sign of disrespect. Always refer to a bro by their name, nickname, or any standard bro word.
The list is endless it could go on and on.One last thing
if a girl cooks for you you mean something special to her
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