Let’s face it,abortion will always be a taboo topic to talk about.Not everyday will you find people talking about abortion.
The only time you will find a bunch of guys talking about abortion is when:
Their bro has impregnated a certain lady.
Here the 1st thing the guy will be told by his friends is to make that girl abort
Heck, maybe one of his friends will open up and tell him about his own abortion experience.
He will be told about everything; from how much it would cost to abort,what tablets are used for aborting,where to get the doctor to do the abortion and how soon to do the abortion.The guys will even go an extent of lending him the money to abort if he doesn’t have it.
Abortion is often treated exclusively as a woman’s health issue. And let’s face it, the woman’s perspective is more important.Most of the time what the woman decides is what will happen.as it’s ultimately her body and her choice.
Most women want to know how their partner feels. Guys may think it’s better to support whatever she wants, or you may not want to influence her too much. But, it’s important to tell her how you feel, knowing that ultimately she has to follow her own feelings. She does want to hear that you are concerned about her and that you care.
The ‘beb am pregnant’,text is the scariest text a university guy can receive.The first thing that will pop in our heads is “are you sure” …After sometime we start questioning the pregnancy ”Is it really mine”…. We start thinking of instances where we think the girl might have messed up so that we can deny the responsibility.Some people say you can never be too sure about who the girl you are sleeping with is sleeping with.She may be getting some side meat elsewhere.
I was adviced that if you impregnate a girl and you are sure the ball is yours just accept the pregnancy.If you don’t accept chances are that if the girl keeps the baby,the baby will be born looking like an exact copy of you when you were a child.
Those that end up denying the responsibility leave the girl with some few options.Either to take care of the baby by themselves and this means her parents will have to know about the pregnancy or to place the responsibility on another guy if she was sleeping around or to do the abortion on her own.
Acceptance is the 1st step toward handling pregnancy. After accepting the next obvious thing is whether to keep the child or not.As i said earlier the decision to keep the baby is solely upon the woman.In campus,getting pregnant is viewed as the worst mistake you can possibly do.Am sure every guy who has ever impregnated a girl while in campus has at one point thought of denying the responsibility.In the end some accept and start to think of a solution.
Since getting pregnant in campus is viewed as a shameful act most abortions end up being carried out without the parents knowing the daughter was ever pregnant.The pregnancy is low key,the abortion is also low key.It just remains a secret among few people.
If the abortion decision is agreed upon it’s the guys duty to pay for it.He mans up and takes responsibility.
What guys think/feel/go through during abortion
Some men feel guilty that they caused the pregnancy, especially if they were not using a condom. Unless you pressured her into having sex.We usually feel its us that messed up.We the reason you are going through all this.All we can do is to keep on apologizing and saying sorry for the blunder we did.The guilt intesifies especially if the girl keeps blaming us for it.
DODGED A BULLET
Those who feel like they dodged a bullet are the ones that from the beginning didn’t want the responsibility and chances are that after the abortion the relationship dies.He doesn’t want anymore of you.He’s hard enough share of stress.
“WILL WE BREAK UP?”
We will be worrying whether we will break up. If both of you agree and support each other and talk to each other, the relationship can survive. Even if you don’t agree and you show that you care about each other, the relationship can grow. But it is a very difficult time, so be patient and take the time to talk to each other. Even if you have agreed to break up, caring for each other now will make you both cope better with this unexpected situation. You will feel better knowing that you did your best at a difficult time.
WE FEEL BAD BECAUSE WE CAN’T PROVIDE
The financial constraints that we have end up being a factor.We can’t even take care of ourselves let alone take care of a child and the baby mama.Hence we end up seeing abortion as an alternative as compared to all the other alternatives.
WHAT IF I WANTED THE BABY.
The guy may agree to have the abortion done but deep down he wanted the baby. He will be more affected in this situation than the lady.All he would be thinking is what the baby would have become.
WILL SHE BE FINE?
Abortion is risky and dangerous.We are concerned about the well being of the lady.We have all heard of women dying while aborting,overbleeding,being unable to give birth again due to the effects of aborting.The effects are many.All we want for her is a safe abortion with no risk.
Something that i noticed is after the abortion no one wants to talk about it.What happened is buried deep down.The story will never be brought to light.Talking to each other doesn’t help that much but its advisable to find someone to talk to about it.Someone who will listen and help when necessary.
RELATIONSHIP AFTER AN ABORTION
Abortion to “save a relationship” almost never works. Many relationships between couples fall apart shortly after an abortion. Others survive only because the partners are still bound together by grief but others survive because what they had was too strong that nothing could shake their bond.
The guy after the abortion should end up learning from his mistake.He should be more careful when it comes to sex.Protection will always be a priority to him..He won’t risk it again.But other dudes don’t learn.They end up accidentally getting another woman pregnant.
Abortion breeds anger, resentment, and bitterness toward the partner who was not supportive or who ignored their partner’s desire to keep the baby.
For those who end up breaking up they will eventually move on and carry the baggage with them.Their next partners will not know of their past.It will be hard of them to open to their new partners because they feel the guilt.
The best thing after an abortion is for both the man and the woman to support each other and care for each other.If they do that the relationship will survive everything that comes their wayChallenges make us stronger.
Abortion affects both men and women.How it is handled will determine how the outcome will be.So as to avoid baggage we can’t handle its better to be safe than sorry.Use protection always.It doesn’t hurt or cost much to protect yourself.