For the fellas
Have you ever begged for Pussy? If you have a penis the answer is yes. We’ve all done it; I don’t care how strong your pimp hand is. Be it that chick who you fingered in a highschool funkie or your homie..
Whose ass you spanked in the club even though you were suppose to be “just friends”. We’ve all been in situations where our game wasn’t on point or the girl was just a particularly hard nut to crack so we had to resort to the dreaded “c’mon, why are we playing”. A girl can know when she’s going to give you the ass.
A guy has no control of Dick Distribution, he’s like a currier truck packed to the top with no instructions, waiting for some girl, sometimes any girl, to give us the okay to deliver the goods . Why do we try so hard? I mean if a girl knows if she’s going to fuck you or not, why the fuck are you going to sit around asking her dumb ass getting to know you questions that you don’t care about? Why not say, “ Bitch, I don’t care if you like Violet and sky blue equally! Is you or is you not gonna give me the pussy? ”
Because it’s a game, and it’s a game that EVERY GUY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN. That’s right. You right there reading this, you and every other guy in this world has a shot. It’s called the rule of 1%.
Every guy has a 1% chance of fucking any girl. The percent rises but it never falls. That’s better than the Lottery. One thing I notice about females is that they’re the most optimistic people in the world, they see potential in almost anybody and will at least talk to you ( as long as their homegirls don’t intervene) Even the hardest, most hating chick has a sweet ♥.
Niggas exploit two things about bitches—One being that soft heart. The second being the fact that they can’t say no to a free meal.
You meet a girl. Girl’s out of your league, meaning prettier than any girl you’ve ever been with, or cost more to take out than what you got in the bank account. You know this and she knows this. But why does she proceed to give you her number and agree to go on a date with you
- She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and giving out a fake number is so childish .
- Bitches can’t say no to a free meal. So she’s out with you,
She texts her friend, “I doubt it” in regards to her fucking you. The key is “doubt it” which means no, unless something dramatic happens… hmmm.
HOW TO RAISE THAT 1% to a “SHE MIGHT FUCK” 40%
1.Amazing Personality : Be funny, engaging, and random. Be the king of random conversations before you get handcuffed. Girls love to be entertained. Talking about an ex-boyfriend or Trump’s response to Korea is a recipe for a bitch ordering food and getting it to go on your boring ass. Keep it light and fun.
2.Kanye West Ego : I don’t care if you broke… The key is to be cocky, confident, and arrogant to the point where she begins to believe that you’re the next big thing.
3.Bullshit : Not recommended for everyone.Now that you’ve gotten past dinner without her rushing off after the bill is paid, it’s time to turn the swag up from Soulja Boy to Jidenna level. The hard part isn’t getting her to like you. It’s getting her to like you in that way. You know, not the let’s go on a walk and talk about what happened in Queen of the south kind of way. The let’s try this shit I read online kind of way.
HOW TO RAISE THAT 40% to a “GOT THEM BRA OFF” 70%
4.Alcohol: Remember this isn’t a relationship. This is a getting to know your event. Face it, this is a bad bitch, she can have any guy she wants. You need to level the field and turn this lady into a FREAK. Shots.
5.Money : I’m not saying pay for it. Just show her you’re having some (what you mean is that you may have 💰 , borrow it from your friend, this is your chance at a 5 star ass). Even if she’s not materialistic, seeing that you’re living larger than first appeared is a sure fire way to loosen up those bra straps. This is no longer a date with an average looking dude. This is a Wall Street investment and this bitch is Rihanna level.
6.More Alcohol : I know, it feels like cheating, suppose she gets sloppy and vomits, what can you do with that? I can’t help you in judging a woman’s ability to hold her liquor. By this point you may end up romancing. You’re at what white kids called 2 base. This is the most important part. Trust me.
7.She’s half naked; she’s open to sex with you, then BAM! An 😇 pops up on her shoulder telling her “ You shouldn’t do this, you’re being a dirty little whore ” . Some guys skip those other steps and start right at this point and fail. So pay close attention.
HOW TO RAISE THAT 70% to a “DICK’S IN, I WIN” 99%
8.Guilt: I’ve tried being nice, romantic, sensitive…
that shit doesn’t work at this point in the game. So you have to make your Dick a victim. Words like “That’s fucked up” or “You going to leave me like that” and my all time favorite reverse psychology line “That’s cool. I didn’t really want it anyway”. Will have even the strongest woman second guessing her conscious. It may seem like a bitch ass way of getting the nookie, but hey, it works.
9.Music: Don’t underestimate the power of the R&B nigga. I’ve never been one for music. I prefer to hear that low whimper/moan as I enjoy some sweet victory, but girls have told me music has literally put them in the mood to go. So turn on those slow jamz play fuck you back to sleep,privacy,tonight the list is endless. Have a hot playlist just in case
: I really like you. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. I’m going to call you tomorrow. You smart. Oh My God yo, it’s like me and you are the same person. Damn! I’ve never met a person like you. You cool as fuck, bbygal. I want to take you places, Malindi,Diani, you need to be pampered. My mom would love you. I cook, girl. Your body looks fine, keep the lights on. I’ll will give you shoutouts. I’ll put on two condoms, don’t even worry about that. Let’s face it, THIS is how most of you get ass normally.
There you are… you’re at 99% because 100% doesn’t exist . Why? Because we’re men, and men can always find a way to fuck up even the easiest shot at pussy by saying things like, your friend is sexy… I don’t like girls who wear weave…. That’s a quick way to fuck up everything you’ve worked so hard for and get back to that 1%.
As usual this is for entertainment purposes. Ladies anything i say here shan’t be used against me…. To the guys try out the tips and let me know if it works
Next article will be about… Ladies dating multiple men. Not fuck just date.