Sun. Dec 15th, 2019


The Menez Effect


10 min read

Snoop Dogg said it’s tough out her for a pimp, well menez says it’s tough out here to be a boy.

There is this girl who has stood up for the boychild. I will show you the screenshots later on. She spoke sense. Shout out to her. We need more chiqs with her spirit.

H_art the band sang a very beautiful song telling us of the struggles guys go through for you women.

Lemme quote what they sang.

Ask My Shoes, Uliza kiatu,
And What I Went Through To Buy You Those Rings,
Ask My Shoes, Uliza Kiatu,
Masaibu, Ninayoyapitia, Kukupeleka Dinner,
Uliza Kiatu,
Na Gatheri, Ninavyokatafuna, Eti Ndio Ukule Burger, Pizza
Uliza Kiatu…

Nimekopa Nikupe, Kumbe We Ndio Kupe,
Nangangana Ndio Tule, Juhudi Zangu Bure,

Nilimuonyesha Mapenzi Akanionyesha Mfuko,
Alisema Doe Ya Salon Ni Thao Tu,
Na Kwa Mfuko Nilikuwa Na Mbao Ju,

This song was on point. It highlighted some of the challenges we go through as guys.

There is a meme that says don’t go broke impressing a broke bitch.

Have you ever been with a chiq and seen that you will lose her to a more well off dude. That feeling sucks. You are damn sure that her lifestyle will be the end of you. You hustling east, west, north and South just because of her fucking ass.

All of your money goes to her. But where does her money go to? You are paying for all the dates, when clubbing you pay for everything, when boarding a matatu you pay the fare, when she visits you you still go ahead and pay for her fare back to her place, you pay for P2, when you meet for lunch you reach into your pocket and still pay. Some even pay for her hair do.

That’s alot of work for a boy. Before you know it you got guys everywhere asking when will you pay them back. When you check your phone you have messages from your bank reminding you to pay that loan. You going beyond your limits just because of a gal.

Some gals i assure you will take full advantage of that… They got niggas everywhere who are ready and if not will be ready in anyway possible to impress them. They got a guy who will take them out for pizza on tue, they got a guy who will take them out on wen during ladies night, they got that boy who will cater for their drinks on friday, they got a guy who will take them out on weekend.

If the roles were reversed am sure most females won’t spend a dime on us. Some chiqs don’t even know how much a bottle of liquor costs because they have never bought. They are used to being bought for. They only thing they know is how to drink the goddamn liquor.

Some girls will only spend their money when with their girlfriends but when in the presence of guys it’s like they forget there is anything called money. They just wait for the guy to pay for everything. That has got to stop.

If i ask you out and i haven’t specified that i will pay for everything carry your own money.

If i tell you let’s go on a certain event am not suggesting i will buy you the ticket. All am saying is i would love to have your company there.

Since we guys tend to spend money stupidly on girls lemme tell you when to or not to spend that cash.

Not paying too much for women is smart. I promise you most women wouldn’t regularly buy us dinners and drinks if the roles were reversed, and they know it.

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I’ve always had a natural habit of telling a woman in no uncertain terms before we go anywhere that costs money exactly what I will pay for and what I will not pay for. We do this before we even go out, and hell, often days if not weeks before the event.

Every woman in my life knows well in advance what she will be expected to pay for, if anything.

What if I tell her that I will not pay for her and she doesn’t like it? Then the worst case scenario is that she complains before we go. I hate any drama from women of course, but if a woman is going to complain, I’d rather have her do it before the event in the privacy of my home instead of during the event, in public, when expectations are high.

Even if she does complain, I just shrug and tell her that’s how it’s going to work, or we can just skip it and hang out at my house instead. Very simple.

I have no problem paying for a woman I deeply care about as long as it’s not something demanded of me or automatically expected of me just because I’m the one who happened to have been born with a penis.

If I’m going to pay for me and not her, I’ll tell her. Then she can make the decision if she wants to follow my way, or not. If she doesn’t want she can dump me and find a man who will pay for both.

If I’m not going to pay at all , I’ll tell her that too. Sometimes I’ll simply say, “I’m not going there unless you want to pay for the entire thing.” Then it’s completely up to her as to whether we go or not.

I don’t tell women what to do, ever. I simply tell women what I’m going to do and then let them make up their own minds. Women always know well in advance where they stand with me, especially in financial matters like who is going to pay for the date, event.

Why Men Don’t Do This

This is so simple, so effective, and so damn obvious. You end up reducing your spending budget.

Then why don’t more men do this? Why is this last minute uncomfortable shuffle over who will pay for what such a common problem with couples?

Its because of two reasons…


You fear the woman thinking less of you, thinking you can’t provide for her (You are in university you can’t even provide for yourself) getting mad or dumping you. I won’t go broke just because i want to please you all the time.

“beb we should attend colour festival ,” cowardly guys have no guts to say things like “Cool beb. How much are the tickets? 500? Okay, great. I’ll pay for my ticket, and you pay for yours. We’ll have a really fun day.”


let’s say your chiq tells you to go clubbing with her friends on Friday. You willing agree. In your mind you tell yourself bae isn’t stupid enough to think you going to sponsor all her frnds. But the problem with guy logic is that women don’t use that. Women use women logic.

She thinks just because you love her and want to appear like a gentleman you will cater for everything her and her frnds want. Tricky right.

Whenever a girl says you go out or do something. Say yes then follow it up with what you personally will do. If you well off then pay for everything but if you know you don’t have the money tell her. Don’t fake it and immediately after agreeing to go out you texting your friend borrowing money. It’s simple.

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If you in a true relationship you and bae should spend money on each other. Today she treats you and next time it’s your turn. When you are broke she should have your back. When she is broke you got her back.

Someone whom won’t catch feelings when you tell her to pay for herself, someone who may surprise you and offer to pay for something. Someone whose money is somehow also yours. Your job as the bf isn’t to act as a 2nd father. Your job is to fuck her good and keep that smile on her face.

If you got money and don’t mind spending it then well and good but if you got limited money don’t get stressed up about how you will treat her. If she’s down for you money won’t be an issue. But if she is those who say money talks then bro get ready for some real drama.

Some men spend money on a woman as if they are buying her.

Let’s say you going for lunch. While on your way to the hotel tell the girl you will pay for the lunch but she is paying for the sodas you will take. It will seem fair and she won’t mind doing it.

The key is to say it in a way that seems reasonable. Don’t go demanding her to pay this and that. If you say it cordially she will agree. If you going to a place you can tell her you will pay the fare to that place and she will pay the return ticket.

If it’s pizza, you can buy the pizza she can buy the drinks. If you know you low on cash you need to make the girl you are with to try and compromise. If she’s smart she won’t see anything wrong with it.

I love those women who have no issue with paying for their own bills. Some even feel bad when a man spends on them.

Is it possible to be in a relationship with a woman who is always paying for everything 100% of the time and is super hot? Oh yes.

But don’t expect these relationships to last that way for very long. As always, hot women always know that you’re replaceable, and thus know they don’t have to keep up with this crap forever.

All boys listen.

Never spend money on your fuckbuddy.

It should go without saying, I hope, that you should never spend money on FBs . Never, ever, ever. Once you spend the minimum you need to spend on the first few dates and start having sex with her on a regular basis, you should never spend money on an FB at all, ever. If she doesn’t like it, she’s more than welcome to leave.

Are there some exceptions to this? Sure. Transportation cost. You older guys can send ubers to your sex toys but us normal guys we won’t because we just don’t want to send that kind of message to a woman I know will never be anything more than an FB.

The world also isn’t going to end if, for example, while she’s with you on the way to your place to have sex you stop and buy a snack. But don’t get cocky and start buying her supper often that will lead to lots of trouble down the road.

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Last tip

Guys try to have as many dates as possible at your place. Just cosy up and chill. You will cook together and by that you end up spending less. House dates are the best.

Before you dish out cash ensure it won’t leave you worse than how you were. Do as i do. Spend where there are returns. But don’t be stupid and try to buy sex or gf with money. Just because she fucked him after a night out doesn’t mean it will work in your case. You may spend all that cash and not even get a peck.

Not all chiqs want/require to be showered with money, most want something real and not just your money.

Don’t become broke because of how you handle your women. If you communicate your financial status and say what you are willing to do for them then you will always be money stress free. Treat her with what you can afford. Sometimes simple is enough.

And remember you should sometimes spend money on women not always. If you got real female frnds then they will understand you and won’t pressure you to do this and that.

Don’t live beyond your means so as to impress some girl. If she’s just after money then she ain’t for you.

Get yourself a real woman.

Am not advocating for guys to be lazy and stop pay the bills. If you courting a chiq and ask her out please pay. But if that gal is ur frnd and you go out depending on how your relationship is then you can cost share. For someone you are used to and you ain’t trying to impress you can tell them if you will pay or not.

Technically if you ask a girl out, you supposed to pay tbe bill . If she asks you out she is supposed to pay the bill.

To spend or not to spend depends on the kind of relationship you two have. If you just friends then you can treat each other out but if you asking a girl out with intentions of making her your boo then please take care of the bill. Before asking her out have a financial audit of yourself and see if you can manage the date.

Some of my female friends i know if i ask them to compromise they won’t mind doing so.

There is this gal in my class, she loves 🍭 🍭 alot and any time she wants one i buy for her and her friends . And also any time i want juice she buys or her friends buys. We don’t see it as a big deal. When we go to the movie shop this week it’s me buying the series and next week it’s her turn.

I hope my fellow men learnt something today. It goes a long way if you speak up before you start spending. Be careful how you spend that cash. WISE UP. Learn the difference on how you spend money on a girl friend, a girl you chasing and the GF.

Girls, learn how to compromise in some situations. I know you all want to be spoiled and treated but you can also help a bit. Chip in a bit when asked to. But if the nigga hasn’t asked then don’t worry about anything . Have mercy on the boy child.

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