Hey guys, it’s Tiana. I’m back with some bits of wisdom. Here we go….
17 Questions Every Girl Has About Sex At One Point or Another
It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin or more experienced in the sheets—everyone has questions about doing the deed. While you’ll never be able to reenact the kind of steamy hookup scenes you see on Gossip Girl or Riverdale, you’ve probably had a few of these thoughts, and more, about getting down and dirty.
1. What’s with the positions having such weird names?
Reverse Cowgirl should be a restaurant that sells healthy delicious food, not something you do to another human. Scissors should just remain an item not a position you and your partner indulge in.
2. How do people manage to fuck while standing up?
You’d rather be naughty in bed…where you can conveniently fall asleep right after.
3. Is shower sex really as hot as people make it look on TV?
You can barely shower alone without slipping. Shower sex is quite overrated. The movies make it seem amazing but in real life it ain’t.
4. Is it normal to not want him to stop?
Pleaseee don’t finish, this is too amazing to stop right now. Keep hitting those sweet spots.
5. Is it normal to feel like his 🍆 is penetrating up to my stomach?
Most girls can relate to this. I mean, that ka feeling where he’s so deep into you that you aren’t sure if he’s still in your nunu.
6. How do you muster up the energy and willpower to 69?
I’m sure you all know these position. If not just google. The only way you can multi-task is by eating, chatting and watching Big Brother Africa simultaneously.
7. Why is anal even a thing?
Who decided that it’d be a fun idea to enter the back door that releases all the crap you eat on a daily basis? Stick to the regular hole.
8. What are you supposed to do during oral?
Giggle? Squirm? Spread your legs like a starfish? Look at him? It’s super confusing.
9. Who decided it was sexy to bite and twist nipples?
I have nothing against BDSM, but that is 50 shades of way too painful. Handle my nipples with care.
10. If the bed doesn’t squeak, does that mean you aren’t thrusting hard enough?
You’re not in good enough shape for this! I hear some break beds. Wow just wow.
11. Should you alternate between kissing and fucking, or do it at the same time like in the movies?
This will get super sweaty instead of super sexy, real fast.
Last time you screamed so loud, your roommates thought you were being murdered. If you moan too loud he may think you are faking, if you don’t moan he may think you aren’t feeling a thing.
13. How are you supposed to easily transition into new positions?
If you change positions too fast, you might end up farting or something. If you haven’t pussy farted then you have no idea what I’m talking about. And if you change positions to fast you might ruin his stroke game.
14. Are you supposed to clean yourself afterwards?
You have boxes of tissues reserved to crying, and…well, you know.
15. Is it normal to fantasize about sex during the most random, inappropriate times?
You in class absent minded, and all you are doing is thinking about the pussy pounding you got last weekend and fantasizing about how it will be next time.
16. How do you manage a threesome?
You can’t even be bothered to share your food with people, much less your SO and SO with someone else.
17. Do guys moan?
Those are my questions that I’ve had about sex.
Don’t forget to
Keep it classy, never trashy, just a little bit of nasty.