Staying in touch with your ex or nah??

It’s fairly common for people to maintain contact with a former romantic partner.Whether or not the break-up was your call, cutting a person out of your life someone with whom you’ve shared secrets, dreams for the future,a bed or even worse a home is really really tough. And there’s no formula for breaking up with someone.

But even after the hard part is over, it’s never as cut-and-dry as simply saying goodbye. In today’s smartphone-centric, Facebook-addicted, Instagram-obsessed world, staying in touch with an ex is a lot easier and messier.

Is the answer to unfriend, unfollow and block? Can you check in via text? Do you wish them a happy birthday when Facebook aggressively prods you to?

Or maybe you want to remain friends with an ex because that’s an easier option than cutting ties abruptly,or because you still feel emotionally attached to them. Those reasons are exactly why staying in contact with an ex isn’t a good idea.

But what happens when you enter a new relationship??

  • Do you maintain contact or cut them out?
  • Can it be bad for your new relationship?

☝ This are the questions we can all relate to.

In my opinion, it was feelings about their experience and about the break up that predicted contact. People are likely to communicate with exes they still have feelings for. They were also more likely to stay in touch with exes if they felt that the break up was more positive (characterized by understanding a lack of mean,nasty, behavior) Finally,those who were not over the break up are more likely to maintain contact with their ex.

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What implications does this have for the people’s current relationship?

In general,those who stay in touch with their ex tend to be less committed to their current partners than those who did not, but contact with an ex isn’t associated with how satisfying they find their current relationship.

But for reals what’s your main motive for communicating with your ex:✍

  • Your friendship with your ex is strong?(Are you emotionally connected)
  • Your ex is a “back up” if your current relationship fails?
  • Your ex is still part of your larger friends?
  • Your ex is still a backup pussy or dick?
  • You feel like you invested a lot of time and have been through alot with your ex?

Remember that what your ex needs most is to feel independent from you not dependent on you

How did these motives relate to the quality of participants current relationship??

Those who maintain contact because they are keeping the ex in mind as a backup tend to be less satisfied with and committed to their current partners.

On the other hand,if they are communicating with an ex because that person is still part of their social network,they are more likely to be satisfied with their current relationship.

Should you keep in touch with your ex??

The answer isn’t a simple yes or no (I get you)

You should always think about your motives for wanting to maintain contact. Also reminders of your ex can keep you attached to that person and make it more difficult to get over them.

Greater longing for an ex is associated with decreases in satisfaction with your current partner over Time, and decreases in satisfaction overtime are associated with increases in longing for an ex(you get me)

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PS:If you already contacted your ex with backup motives prior to meeting your current partner,you may enter into that new relationship less committed in the first place.

Whether to be jealous if your partner is friendly with an ex??

This can really create an itchy feeling to the other partner. If your partner is communicating with an ex, it doesn’t necessarily reflect poorly on your relationship. If that ex is just part of their larger social network, it’s more likely that they are only satisfied with you. The only problem that comes in is thinking of an ex as a backup pal. That’s a good reason to be absolutely JEALOUS hunny.

Maintaining contact with exes is pretty common,but whether it indicates a problem with your current relationship most likely it depends on why you keep in touch.

The TakeAway

The temptation to stay in touch with an ex is normal-we’ve all been there. If you need to remain civil (and you can) by all means go for it. But if you are hanging onto the hope of getting back together, giving them the wrong impression, or risking your current relationship,that’s another story.

When the urge to text the ex strikes, message a good friend instead. They can help bring you back to reality. And most of all, remember what you deserve. Prolly a loving, lasting relationship.

This is definitely the longest post I’ve ever written.. and the one closing the year 2017. Thank you all for your support.

We hope to meet in 2018 where will have more lessons and posts.

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I’ll be starting a website soon.


Have a blessed New year ❤

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Keep it Kenyan 🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪

Xoxo❤😍the two of us..



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