Reasons for unclear breakups


No one likes to see a good thing end. However, maintaining the good thing need a lot of patience and perseverance. No one enters into a relationship expecting it to end at a bad note. When it comes to breaking up with your partner, you might think of just walking out of the relationship without saying a word of goodbye but that’s not exactly the best way to end things with someone whom you shared great moments together. Give your soon- to-be-ex a little dignity and state a reason as to why you choose to walk away. If you ever wondered why relationships do not work, then read here some common reasons people break up.

1. Trust issues.

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If trust issues is not the major reason why people breakup, then it must be among the leading causes. This goes hand in hand with cases such as lying, stealing or infidelity. Without trust, the relationship misses two key anchors to a strong bond, which are: safety and security. An indication of mistrust is:
Predicting how your partner will betray you without having evidence of betrayal.

In this case, you might have a record of misdeeds that your partner might have done. Still on the other side, you might have trust issues with a partner who has never shown any sign of untrustworthiness. Your judgment might be based on your own past experiences. This contaminates the present relationship. An example of such an incident is when one of the partners thinks that the other partner might be in another relationship which might be contrary to what is happening.

2. Ineffective communication.

Communication is viewed as the key factor to a successful relationship. Partners ought to share their thoughts, joys, aspirations and frustrations. Couples who avoid sharing their true selves and speaking honestly with each other, weaken the bond between them which with time it leads to a break-up. When passing on your thoughts to your partner, consider the following:

  • Avoid comparing him/her to the people you have dated before or to other people you might both know.
  • Be calm as possible and explain yourself effectively.
  • Avoid sarcasm.
  • Avoid blaming each other.
  • Do not insult or judge him/her.
  • Do not bring up the past.
  • Never threaten- this can lead to emotional or physical abuse.

3.Different expectations.

I highly recommend couples getting to know each other’s expectations at the beginning of the relationship instead of making an assumption that both of you might be on the same page. Many love relationships fail to survive because the two partners are going in separate directions in their lives. They might have shared same goals at first but as time goes by, the goals change. However depending on how rigid these goals are, for both partners, it may be a warning sign for incompatibility. Surprisingly, you might find out that you are not a priority to someone whereas you consider him/her as one.

4. Control issues.

Control issues in a relationship get in the way whereby, one of the partners unevenly uses his/her power. The problem might cause a number of difficulties and it might occur over many years / months until one partner decides that he/she has had enough and its better walking out of the relationship. Control issues can also include one partner making major decisions without consulting the other.

Other reasons include:

  • Finance issues.
  • Low self esteem.
  • Lack of genuine happiness in the relationship.
  • Bad habits.
  • Falling out of love.
  • Narcissism.

Good luck!

Special thanks to David Kamau for helping me put my ideas across.

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