Dear 20-year olds
On the 31st of March 2018, a six-foot-five, heavily-tattooed man stood on the sidelines of a soccer game in Los Angeles. It was the 71st minute and his team was down 3-1. He had had an illustrious career in Europe but was now already 36-years-old. Some had written him off as washed up.
Only one year ago, he had been stretchered off a game with a terrible knee injury. His English team had released him from his contract while he continued to recuperate. Now, he stared into the warm California afternoon, about to make his debut for yet another new team: the LA Galaxy.
20 minutes later, he had already scored an amazing goal to make it 3-3. But he wasn’t done. In the dying minutes of the game, another ex-English Premier League player floated a dangerous ball right in front of opponent LAFC’s goal.
Zlatan Ibrahimovich jumped highest and reached the ball just before the LAFC goalkeeper’s outstretched hands. The ball looped into the corner of the goal. 4-3 and game over. Zlatan had won the game and written his name into the history books.
It was a perfect debut.
Millennials like myself want it all now, the money, designer clothes, the job that pays for full time travel and the perfect relationship.
Our elders say it’s a pipe dream but we have the proof on social media, people really have these lifestyles and they’ve become our inspiration.
We see the peak of the mountain from the base but we don’t want to climb it, we want a helicopter straight to the top.
The brutal truth is that life rarely works that way, people at the top usually worked hard to get there.
The social media highlight reel shows ‘perfection’, what it doesn’t show is the blood sweat and tears behind the scenes that people endured to get there.
We are under so much pressure. For those who love hiphop I’m sure you can name like 20 dudes who made it in life before the age of 25. If you can’t, let me help you out. This is a list of young rich today rappers who got most of their success last year.
- Lil tay – she’s 9years old
- Bhad bhabie – she’s 15years old
- Desiigner – 20years old
- Post Malone – 23years old
- Lil yachty – 20years old
- Takeshi 69 – 22years old
- Lil pump – 17years old
- Lil uzi – 23years old
- Nasty C – 19years old
- trippie Redd – 19years old
- Rich the kid – 19years old
- Wifisfuneral – 19years old
- Xxxtentacion – 19years
- YBN jay Almighty – 19years
The list is endless. At one point in Justin Bieber’s career he retired at the age of 18. Avicii retired at the age of 26. He had made so much money that could sustain him for 100 years without working even a single day.
Everybody wants to be successful. But in today’s day and age, success alone isn’t enough. Most of us want to be wildly successful when we’re young. We dream of the perfect debut.
Wouldn’t it be nice? To be on top of the world before you hit 30? To have enough money to buy whatever you want, the ability to travel anywhere in the world, and all the fame that comes with it?
But the truth is, you’re likely gonna fail when you’re young. More often than you’d like to imagine. And that’s okay.
You Won’t Match Up to Your Inspiration
The great American radio personality Ira Glass once said:
“For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good… But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.” Our taste keeps on changing. Something we did a year ago doesn’t look that good as compared to what we are currently doing.
He was talking about creative work here, but it could apply to just about any young person’s work. Most of us do things because we’re inspired by greatness. We admire the Taylor Swifts, Cristiano Ronaldos, drakes, and Mark Zuckerbergs of the world.
We’re spoiled with so much quality that we don’t even realize it. Thanks to the Internet and Spotify, any high school student can instantly listen to a “greatest hits” collection and decide they wanna be the next Selena Gomez.
But unless you’ve been hustling hard like Selena since you were seven-years-old, you’re probably gonna suck when you start. And you’re gonna be sad if you keep comparing yourself to the best in the world.
Just understand that it’s natural. You’re never gonna match up to your idols in the beginning, but don’t stop being inspired.
You Learn More Through Struggle
20 years ago, the original tech-genius-billionaire wrote:
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill Gates
Just consider the lowest common denominator for success that most people use: money. And the weirdly-frequent cases of big-money lottery winners who go broke. If you won the type of money that would allow you to not work another day in your life, would you blow it all away?
Yet, we have heartbreaking stories of people who ended up way worse than before their lucky money (sportpesa jackpot winners). It’d be easy to blame this on stupidity, recklessness, or bad luck. But I’m not so sure.
Instead, I think the people who lost it all were unprepared for handling large sums of money. What’s worse, they didn’t get qualified people to help them, and they didn’t learn in time. You can make money through luck. But it takes skill to keep it.
Of course, success means a whole lot more than money. But the same principle applies: if we never develop skills for success in the first place, we’re bound to lose it.
So don’t be upset if you’re constantly falling down when you’re starting out. You’re not a failure. You’re learning how to be a success.
Success Takes Time
Today, we live in a culture of hacks. We’re bombarded by good-looking salesmen promising us 10 times the success in half the time (work at home pyramid schemes) . It’s a seductive message: “You can make 10k every week if you let us train you on how to makes loads of cash using your smartphone .”
But the laws of nature tell us otherwise. Real value takes time to build. There’s a reason why we value 25-year-old whiskeys more than cheap spirits.
This isn’t a rant against change; I understand that old ways aren’t always the best. Yes, we need to get better and faster.
But when we’re young, we often don’t have the wisdom to differentiate between valueless hacks and quality improvements. So we try and try, swinging between failure and success. Thankfully, history has stories to encourage us.
Vera Wang‘s figure skating career didn’t work out, so she worked a day job for 19 years, learning all she could about fashion. She launched her first boutique at the grand young age of 40. Now she’s a famous designer know all over.
Jack Ma was 35-years-old and a multiple reject of Harvard Business School, the China police force, and even KFC, then he started Alibaba. It took him 15 years before he became a billionaire at 50.
J.K. Rowling spent her late twenties living on welfare as a single mother. She felt like a failure, was diagnosed with depression, and even considered suicide. It took seven long years from when she was first inspired to write about a boy wizard to when her “perfect debut” was published: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.
Believe it or not there was a time Samuel L Jackson wasn’t famous. He became famous while in his early 40’s. Thanks to Quentin Tarantino who saw something special in him.
When we’re young, we believe we can conquer the world easily. But life has a funny way of teaching us a lesson when we step into the arena.
Bloodied and bruised, we take a step back and question ourselves. “Why is it so hard?” “Is it really worth it?” “Will I ever succeed?”
But just like how adulting confusingly lies somewhere in between the blind optimism of youth and the bitterness of a cynical old-timer, there are no black-and-white answers. At best, we could say “it depends.”
What does it depend on?
Opportunities. Timing. Privilege. Motivation. We could go on and on…
But most of all, it depends on you.
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
As long as you are breathing you can still make it
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