First of all, thanks for the support you gave me in my previous blog post (The Do’s & Don’ts on your First Date).
From the comments section in one of the social media platforms, someone suggested that I should tackle the area on asking your crush out on a date. This is how it read:
“Nice idea on the blog, how about you help out both parties on the best way to ask for a date in the first place, all in all I love your idea and am looking forward to reading more great stuff”- Anonymous.
This takes me way back, like five years ago where I had a crush on this guy, it was so deep 😂😂😂 that at some point I felt I should take the first step and ask him out. Awkward, right? (The bit of being the lady and asking a guy out on a date). Well, believe me, it happens but this is where the problem comes in, you lack the right tactics to ask your crush out. I still think it’s high time we have a bit of dating rules revolution. It doesn’t always have to be men asking ladies out on a date. Like, how do you ask him out despite the fact that 95% of men think that a woman asking them out is weird.
So let me try and merge the main points that favor both parties.
1.Assess his/her interests.
You can gauge his/her mood- that is if he/ she is all smiles or just gloomy, maintaining eye contact or acting all busy staring at other things, easy or uneasy while next to you, does that person look for an excuse to touch you as a sign of being flirty? By such assessments you can find out whether to take the next step.
2.Interact with him/her.
At this point make sure you are being yourself. Be as honest as possible. Don’t try to fake your identity so as to fit in your crush’s shoes. Introduce an interesting topic that will make your crush feel involved and free to talk to you. Don’t feel so uneasy but be confident .Confidence is expressed by being relaxed, gazing forward, shoulder down and back and your chest high. As you talk make sure you compliment him/her once in a while but do not overdo it.
At this point, you might still feel not comfortable asking him/her out, well its okay but remember you only live once. Take chances while still fresh. Waiting for the perfect time will make you wait forever. Thought you should know that:-
- Nowadays, women/ men do not wait forever- they lose interest with time.
- There are many other options apart from you.
- Competition is fierce.
- At some point, I do believe that attraction has expiration date.
- Asking on time makes you get answers immediately.
- Asking the person out makes you gain experience out of every outcome.
3.Pop up the big question.
I just think at this point if all is flowing quite well, asking him/her out will not be an issue. There are still some tips for those who still think they do not have enough confidence.
- First thing first, do not bring it out as a joke or dare- come to think of it; he/she might accept your proposal just to please you. It won’t be from within them and maybe you are looking forward to a long lasting relationship.
- Be clear and specific.
E.g. I am going to concert X this Saturday, would you care to join me?
You’ve never heard of Mastergeesfood Restaurant,right? Well then, we have to get some of his delicacies. Are you free this Friday?
Following these examples, the proposal is very clear and specific instead of beating around the bush.
For ladies you might consider some of these tricks if the general ones seem hard for you:
- Use the extra ticket trick.
- Ask him out on a group date.
- Ask him out to a guy friendly activity.
- Ask him out on to a movie or concert.
- Ask him through a note- though that shows you are a coward.
- Let him know face to face, what you feel.
Finally, you are definitely waiting for one answer but here are the three possible outcomes and how you ought to deal with them.
- YES– this is definitely the best answer that might get you a little bit out of control when it comes to your emotions but try and keep calm and just continue with your conversation or pick up a new interesting topic.
- NO– tough, right? But the best thing to do is to back off for a while. Give them space but that does not mean you give up. You might also use a perfect exit line to such a conversation by being a little dramatic like or just requesting her to think about it.
- WAIT/GIVE ME TIME TO THINK– this might be very tricky but do not get your hopes up then later get disappointed. Do follow ups but do not be nagging.
GOOD LUCK! & Remember to
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